Sunday, April 10, 2011

Parenting and Adoption

When we started on our first adoption journey18 years ago, I remember someone asking me "Are you going to parent your adopted children the same way that you have parented your birth children?"
I thought this was a ridiculous question. My response was "of course, we will". At the time Jeff and I had 3 children in the 1st grade to 7th grade. We felt confident in our relationship with each other and confident in our ability to parent.
Little did I know that God was going to need to change so many things about "me" from the inside-out. Parenting children who have been hurt does require you to parent differently. It requires you to daily step back and see things from their point of view - from their hurt, from their anger, from their fear.
It made me depend on God in a way that I never had before. My skills were no longer good enough. My past experiences and successes didn't carry over into this new challenge in my life. I needed (and still do!!!) God to so fill my heart and mind that my responses and reactions did not mirror the undisciplined behavior my children were displaying.
Earlier this week an email came to me through Empowered to Connect titled "I used to be a good mom". As I read the article I could really empathize with this mom and her words that came from a deep, reflective place in her heart. I remember saying the same thing about myself: "I used to be a good mom". Here is the link to that article.

If you are in the process of being remade as a parent. I know that it is tough. I also know that the journey is amazing and can even be joyful. Allow God to have his perfect will in your life and to walk you through the places you need to go to be a better parent to the kids that He has entrusted to you.

I would encourage you to read the entire first chapter of James, and want to point out verses 2-4 here:
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Jason Gray's song, "I am New" speaks to God's transforming power and love in our lives and His desire for us to be more like Him. Whether you are just beginning your journey with God or have known God for years and He is pressing into your heart and mind an area that needs to change and to be made more like Him - let the truth of these words wash over your heart and believethat during this season:
- You are chosen
-You are holy
-You are dearly loved!! :)

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